Can't Sleep

I had a roommate once who thought that if he could just simply stop sleeping that his productivity would skyrocket. Soon, he moved to sleeping very little, and eventually he went back to a normal routine, but not before becoming somewhat cranky and a little paranoid for a while.

We need sleep. I need sleep. However, right now, I just can't do it. I know that part of it is that the medication level that I usually take has gotten out of whack, and so I am simply trying to embrace the no-sleep (or better termed the "sleep at extremely irregular and inconvenient times") by doing a bit of blogging and doing a lot of homework.

Kristy, for some reason, does not sleep well when I am not in the bed. I get like that a little bit as well but only when she is not in bed because she is out of town or something. But for her, having me in bed has become such a part of her sleep ritual that she has to take Tylenol PM whenever I pull an all-nighter. It's nice to know she misses me, and it forces me to have as few of those late-nights as possible.

This is a bit of a rambling post, but it is 3am (please, no Matchbox 20 references).

Wish I Was There

It's been a little over 6 months since my wife and I moved from Jacksonville, Florida to Chicago. We moved so that I could attend seminary and in hopes that Kristy might have more employment opportunities here. So far, we have enjoyed living in the city. Public transportation is fantastic - though sometimes it can be a little dicey - and there is always something to do.

However... damn I miss the weather in Florida! I don't think I can stress how much I am hating the cold here. I always knew that I preferred heat to cold. Don't get me wrong, there are some miserable hot days in Florida, but they don't last for six months! The heat can be extremely uncomfortable, but the cold actually hurts.

This morning, I took the dog to the dog beach and, by the time we left, I think I was experiencing the beginning stages of hypothermia. I have been home for almost three hours now and I still can't seem to get warm. Everyone tells me that Chicago is the greatest place to live once it warms up. Hopefully that will be enough to get me through the next couple of months of this misery.

Long Day

This week is the start of my second semester of seminary. I am taking 4 classes... which is the same number that I did last semester. However, all 4 take place within a 27 hour period - beginning at 9am on Tuesday and ending at noon on Wednesday. I am not going to lie, this first week was rough. By the time the third class on Tuesday began, I had a pounding headache and zero attention-span.

Thank God for Adderall!

Don't worry, it is prescription. I was diagnosed pretty heavily A.D.D. and without the Adderall, there is no possible way I could get through a single 3-hour class let alone a schedule like this.

That makes me think about all the people who suffer from some sort of mental/chemical imbalance. Just because one isn't sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching or have a stuffy head or fever, it doesn't mean their body has no need for medication. (wow... how many negatives were in that sentence??)

I have personally seen, and heard numerous stories about, people who are bipolar or manic-depressive or suffer from crippling anxiety simply think that by trying harder, they will get by. As someone who live like that for years, I can tell those people that they can't. If something is wrong with our bodies, we should take the steps necessary to fix the problem. I remember when I first started on my medications. It was like a whole new world opened up to me. I asked my pastor, Kevin, "Is this how most people feel all the time?" He said, "Yes. Amazing isn't it?"

Amazing indeed. Because I was finally diagnosed and submitted to treatment, I have been able to continue my education... something I had, at one time, become convinced I would never be able to do.

So, Tuesdays... bring it on.

Giving Up

The Season of Lent begins today. So, many people will be foregoing chocolate, alcohol, cussing, etc. for the next 40 days. I have given up things throughout the years; however, I am always a little suspect when it comes to my motives. I remember one year I decided to give up fast food. This included pizza. Did I mention I was delivering pizzas roughly 30 hours a week? It was rough. I made it though, and that pizza on Easter evening was one of the best I've ever had. Unfortunately, I am pretty sure I did it because I had been gaining weight and was really just looking to improve my eating habits. It was in no way, shape or form a spiritual exercise.

Other years, I have really tried to treat whatever I was giving up as a fast. When I began to crave said item, I would try to pray and remember the One who gave up everything (I could probably say "ones" since there have been many in my life who have sacrificed themselves, in one way or another, for me... but this is a time to focus on Jesus). There are people who put pebbles in their shoes so that every time they take an uncomfortable step they can recall Christ. That is what this fast should be I think. That's why I should look to give up something that will truly "hurt"... not in a self-flagellation sort of way but something that I will sincerely miss.

Well, I am giving up something this year, but I'll keep it between God and me for the time being. However, I also want to "give up" slacking on this blog. I know I've said that a few times, but I am committing to posting something every day except Tuesdays (since I am in class from 9am - 9pm on that day) during Lent. This one has selfish motives. I am hoping that it will instill the habit in me again of posting regularly. It is not a fast per se, but it will be a little challenging.

My prayer is that I can give my fast to God. This is not for me or so that others can be impressed. This is something I can give to the Almighty. Of course, we always benefit from a fast that is entered into with a broken and contrite heart, and I do look forward to the spiritual reward, but I pray that I will focus my attention on God - Father, Son, Holy Spirt... Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer - and contemplate the significance of the season.